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Having Children
Deciding to have a child or children is a sacred decision. (at first, I had a typo which said “scared” decision. And the decision should somewhat scare you.) Our society provides many options on the continuum of having children. I’ll briefly discuss a few of the ways we try to control the process of having children.
Natural method: without going into alot of details, the natural method would be what the Israelites used. The man and woman come together only at certain points in the woman’s cycle thereby naturally increasing or decreasing fertility. This method works if you want to have several children and if you are predictable in your cycle.
Medication: Modern medicine has provided pills for everything from headaches to… well you know… Women can choose to take birth control pills, morning-after pills, and even fertility enhancing drugs. Once pregnant, a woman now may take medication that can start or stop labor, control nausea, etc.
Surgery: IVF, D&C, and tubal ligation are just a few of the ways we try to control reproduction.
Some of these reproductive technologies are great. Some of them are not. Some of them are in line with the Bible, and clearly some of them fly in the face of everything that is right. I don’t have time to regurgitate what others have written and researched. If you’re looking for a thought-provoking discussion on bioethics and other women’s health issues, I’ll refer you to Sarah Flashing. I wish I could take the time today to compose a compelling piece on this very complicated topic. I’m sure I’ll return to this topic eventually.
In the mean time, Here are some self-evaluation questions:
1. Do you see children as a blessing from the Lord? or are they inconvenient?
2. Do you trust God with the timing of having children? Or do you want to schedule your family growth?
3.What are your biggest fears concerning children?
Questions not to ask:
1. Am I ready for children? I’ll answer that one: NO you are not. Parenting is a sacred adventure for which we are never completely ready. We may believe we have arrived on a higher plane of spirituality and thus are ready for children, but find out once they are born there is an entire “closet of skeletons” to deal with– your own sinful depravity runs deeper than you know. We are sinful people giving birth to sinners and God uses the process of parenting to refine our character like a silversmith refines precious metal. Read Sacred Parenting for more on this line of thought.
2. What if I have twins? I’ll answer that one: You’ll be extremely busy. If you’re already busy, then you’ll re-align your priorities and learn to delegate. While the incidence of twins is on the rise, several factors contribute to having twins. Maternal age (extremes on both ends). Number of pregnancies (completed or not). Family history. Medical intervention. All of these play into the gamble of having or not having twins. But the real reason people have twins is that God is the author of life, and sometimes he gives a double blessing. God wants us to fully rely on him no matter how many children we have at one time. Don’t avoid having a baby just because you’re afraid of having twins. Go back to the questions above, and think about your fears. Then commit the whole matter to God through prayer.
3. Can I afford children? Don’t ask this. You can’t afford it. You’ll have to make sacrifices. Whether it’s staying home, not going to the theater, cancelling cable, refusing to get a manicure/pedicure at the spa, choosing to eat at home, going to the library instead of buying or renting, emailing long lost friends for a free vacation at their house, growing your own food, or biking instead of driving, you will have to make sacrifices–Lots of them–Daily,Weekly, for the rest of your life. God will challenge us to sacrifice everything near and dear to us in order to deepen our relationship with Him.