Archive for the ‘personal’ Category

• Traditions

  Date: 2010.07.09 | Category: Holidays, MFM, Twins, personal | Response: 0

  It’s Friday. It’s July. And I haven’t posted a Marriage & Family Monday post on a Monday in I don’t know when. In my Draft folder, I have 5 drafts. Five! I don’t know when I’m going to get around to completing them and posting. So I’m taking the rest of this post to talk about traditions.

  One of our family mantras is “have an adventure, make a memory.” Part of what makes life so memorable is visiting the same places over and over, doing the same things, eating the same foods, and creating happy times in that place.

  This past weekend was the Fourth of July weekend.  “My gentle readers,” please take a minute to comment on this post and share with all of us what traditions you have for the Fourth of July.  Do it for people who are looking to build a family legacy of happy memories.  My first post on the Fourth summarizes a conglomeration of traditions and experiences from the last 13 years of marriage.  Building your own traditions for your family when you and your spouse come from different areas of the country can take time.

  This year, we took a last minute trip to Memphis for the Fourth of July.  Hallelujah!  It was “the way it was supposed to be.”  Hot. Sweating in 95 degree sun at Mud Island. Frozen drinks that thaw in minutes (instead of hours). Weird running bugs and enormous swallowtail butterflies.  Grilling with a new Rub (The internal temp of the grill before it was turned on was 125+).  Corn. Running through the sprinkler and chasing each other with the hose.  Homemade Chocolate Ice Cream (better than ever).  Germantown Fireworks (Running commentary by Rachel).  101.3 degrees.  Crunchy Grass.  Sparklers. Now that’s a real Fourth.  No campfires. No blankets for warmth.

  When my girls look back on the Fourth of July, I want them to remember sparklers, home made ice cream, and fireworks with the family.  I want them to think about our nation’s history — why July 4 is different from June 4.  I want them to have traditions and rituals that can be expected during birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, and Back to School.   Building the same foods and activities into a special day makes a tradition, builds a memory, and creates exciting anticipation for next year.

• Great Husbands, Great Ideas

  Date: 2010.05.26 | Category: MFM, Recipe, Twins, garden, personal | Response: 1

  Great Husbands. Great Ideas.

  No, I’m not being sarcastic.  At least not now.

  Several months ago, we started planning the 5th birthday party for the twins.  Rob had the idea of doing a “Garden” Themed birthday party.  I had heard of another neighbor doing this party, and thought it would be an ok idea.  But as Rob elaborated on his plans, I began to stiffen, balk, and inwardly rebel.  I did not want to follow his plan. I was thinking, “oh, great…”

  You see, I was afraid.  I was afraid of how it would turn out, of what the children would think, of how we’d manage the grandiose idea, and of what the neighbors would think.  However, I’ve walked with the Lord long enough to know that when a wife submits to her husband both are blessed.

  My idea of a party was to provide continuous entertainment with all the guests bringing toys or other presents.  Rob’s idea seemed completely revolutionary. We talked through both our ideas, and came up with a plan.

  The day of the party, 12 children poured into our backyard. The decorations were a few balloons and a banner leftover from another party.  We started off with face painting.
  

  Each child decorated a pot and planted their own snapdragon flower to take home and “baby.”  We had bought most of the pots on clearance at the end of last season and saved some containers from others. The leftover plants were planted in our front flower bed after the party.

  

  The girls and I made a poster board sized flower for “pin the butterfly on the flower” game.  

  The girls and I transformed a yellow bundt cake into a caterpillar.  It was very simple and fun to do.

  I  served bug shaped macaroni and cheese and pink lemonade.  At the end everyone took a turn squishing their feet in the mud. We’d planned on planting the seeds, but it had rained. Squishing in mud was much more fun.

  

  We had other games planned but we ran out of time. Once again Rob and I collaborated and I listened and  every child was totally thrilled.  It was probably the best party we’ve ever done.

  We plan on sharing the produce of the garden with those who came to our party come harvest time! Thanks, Nina, for being the party photographer!

• Progress

  Date: 2010.05.21 | Category: personal | Response: 0

  I just checked in on myself. I was wondering how I was doing with my New Year’s resolutions which I wrote in a post Dec 30. 2009.

  So far, I can see that about 50% of the goals have been met. Another 25% have been re-prioritized. Some will never happen. Some will just be put on hold for later, like next year. Some have fallen under “corporate restructuring” and thus have been eliminated.

  An example of restructuring:  I wanted a new kitchen floor and new living room furniture.  Yet I wanted to pay off a loan as well.  We chose to pay off the loan with this year’s tax refund and postpone the home improvement expenses till next year’s refund.

  I know I haven’t posted much since Spring began to show itself. I have 3 April posts which ended up as “drafts”. Perhaps my goal for June is to revise and post these drafts.

• It’s been how long?

  Date: 2010.04.17 | Category: personal | Response: 0

  It’s been 2 weeks, and I need to blog. At this minute I have nothing to say. Except 2 things.

  1. If you “were” registered on this blog, unless you are Isaac or Dawn, You are NOT registered now. Rob deleted everyone, somewhat accidentally. It was a failed communique on my part. So , sorry, please re-register.

  2. We are possibly transferring servers / webhosters. This is why I am reluctant to blog. We need to transfer the blog to the new host and for whatever reason, we’re having some technical difficulties. Maybe I will just blog in spite of this and hope that none of my recent posts get lost in the transfer.

• Where is my cart and where is my horse?

  Date: 2010.03.23 | Category: Bible Study, personal | Response: 0

  A man makes his plans but the Lord orders his steps

  Go to now you who say, we’ll go here and there and make a profit.

  Some of my readers know I am considering re-entering the work force.  At this writing I do not feel I should give any more details than that. but let me tell you, I’m having a hard time with the whole horse/cart thing.

  The saying goes, “Don’t get the cart before the horse.”  It’s difficult for me to remain in the waiting loop with regard to this potential job, especially since it initially seems that the Lord is thrusting me into this position.  I’ve lost sleep over this — anticipating my first day on the job and all the wonderful phone calls I’ll be making, how each day will unfold, how everything and everyone will grow and change.  I feel I am ready yet simultaneously I know I will never be ready to accept a job of this magnitude.  I am like a horse — with no cart attached — raring to go full bore to the finish line.  I am Seabiscuit, electric with anticipation of the race.  Yet, I know I cannot win this race alone. I need to be less like Seabiscuit and more like Black Beauty, the cab horse.  I need to submit to the driver, and have a cab, coach or cart attached.  Otherwise, I’ll have no business.  I need to have the right driver or I’ll be crushed near to death from the load that I’ll carry.

  So, I’m spending this night in prayer.  I used to wonder how in the world Jesus could pray all night, or why he would want to.  I’m catching a glimpse of possible reasons.  I have my plans but I want to leave those in the Hand of God for His divine purpose to order and establish.

• HALLOWEEN

  Date: 2010.01.16 | Category: Holidays, MFM, personal | Response: 0

  My followers are asking me to write on this topic again.  I’ve put it off because I really don’t like to dwell on the subject of Halloween.  It’s uncomfortable.  I don’t know why Halloween vexes me so, but it does.   Perhaps, I am vexed because I know too much.  Truly, oblivion is bliss.   When you don’t know, you are still accountable, because “ignorance of the law is no excuse.” But when you don’t know, you don’t have the guilt or the struggle to do what is right. Halloween is dark. It’s a holiday that celebrates death.  I’ve come face to face with someone truly oppressed by darkness, and it is an overwhelming experience that I don’t want to repeat or relive or pass on to my children.

  So This Very Educated Mother Knows about Halloween. I know the history of the holiday.  I know the darkness that surrounds it. I know there are people who innocently play with things that seem innocent only to get sucked into an oppression they cannot climb out of alone.  I know there are real witches and followers of Wicca who do abominable things on this unholy day.  For them, it’s not a game.  It’s not pretend. It’s a real life demented sort of fun.

  So how did I solve the problem of Halloween?

  I’ll tell you what I did. I made a scarecrow with the family at the floral shop, and put him on the front porch (which scared the begeebers outta me every time I walked past it).  I planned an outing to the pumpkin farm – which got rained out.  I put out my fall leafy placemats and my plain pumpkin “treat dish.”  I updated my floral displays around the house and trimmed my mum. I didn’t buy candy, nor did I stock up on evangelistic pamphlets.  I had my kids close their eyes when we drove by some horrific neighborhood displays.  I taught my girls the truth about Halloween and answered their Why’s as best I could.  The town had advertised that Halloween activities were to take place between 3-8pm. I packed a picnic, took my kids, put them in the car at about 2:45 and exited my “festive” neighborhood.  In the weeks before, I had wrestled and prayed about what to do and I remembered that Chicago-land has a wonderful Christian attraction: The Billy Graham Museum.  I headed south to this haven.  I tried to linger there as long as physically possible for a four-year-old.  It was a wonderful experience.

  When we walked in, we were greeted with an array of Christian art depicting various scenes from the life of Jesus.  Then we went into the rotunda of witnesses.  I couldn’t remember the stories of all the martyrs and the girls weren’t tuned into a history lesson anyway.  But everything slowed down when we entered the room of the cross.  Reading every verse on salvation and walking through a cross-shaped portal into a dark Tomb-like passage makes the entrance into the Heaven room spectacular.  The “hallelujah” chorus played and the girls still talk about the Heaven room.

  The next day, the girls wanted to watch the Easter Video, which incidentally also plays the “hallelujah” chorus at the resurrection scene.

  So I didn’t defeat Halloween. I re-invented it.   Our trip to the Billy Graham Museum glorified God and brought some of His Light into our life on the darkest holiday of the year.  We celebrated eternal life on the holiday that celebrates death. Any why not?  After all, Jesus came into the world to turn it upside down.

• New Year’s Resolutions

  Date: 2009.12.30 | Category: personal | Response: 1

  My first job had me setting goals.  I worked for a sales company and I was the main receptionist.  I had to write out 5 goals every week.  I should have put down, 1-5. answer phone 6. talk to Maggie and Jill.  But I knew they wanted me to accomplish more than that, so every week I had to come up with someway to be productive. 1. answer phone, 2-5. mail samples.  Then the following week I had to say whether I’d done it or not.  It was a good growing process for me.

  So, I’m here to report on 2009 and my goals for 2010.  Here is the 2009 List.  And below is a yes or a no as to whether I accomplished it or not.

  1. no  2. yes 3. yes 4. yes 5. no 6. yes 7. no 8. no 9. yes 10. no 11. no 12. yes 13. no 14. yes 15. no

  I scored 7/15 yeses.  But #5 doesn’t count as a real no because it was tied to number 4.

  If you’re contemplating whether or not to write New Year’s Resolutions or goals, I would encourage you to at least write them down and post it on the wall near your work space.  At some point during the year (if you’re at all like me) you’ll find yourself wandering aimlessly around and you’ll say, “I’m supposed to be doing something. Not just wasting my time wandering around or browsing facebook or this blog.” So then you can look at your list and say, Oh yes, I totally did want to do that.  And maybe, just maybe you’ll start something.

  For 2010, I would like to accomplish the following

  1. Stay involved in a weekly Bible study or switch to a mentoring/accountability relationship.

  2.  continue exercising 2x per week

  3.  practice piano regularly so I can play for the wedding

  4. investigate craft shows

  5. continue to save 68% at the grocery store using sales and coupons.

  6. replace kitchen/family room flooring

  7. increase insulation in basement

  8. veggie garden under power lines

  9. Volunteer at my church with the Women’s Ministry

  10.  incorporate chores as part of daily routine, so there’s less hassle when it’s time to do it.

  11.  work on my tone. be happier.  Be something like a  “Julia Poppins”

  12. do a better job planning monthly spending.  I’ve already budgeted how to spend the tax return.

  13. Register children for kindergarten and closely monitor their “progress” once school starts so I can know whether or not to continue home schooling. (Will there really be any measurable difference accomplished in kindergarten??)

  14. take pictures. plan outings. document.

  15. Be consistent with Marriage Family Monday entries.  My goal is 2x per month.

  Edited to add

  16. New family room furniture.  preferably a pair of leather recliner from world market, and a leather sofa from someplace else…

• Theory: Life is a normal curve

  Date: 2009.12.11 | Category: personal | Response: 1

  In college I majored in elementary education.  I remember sitting in the education building on campus, in the largest lecture hall available, sitting on the 3rd row left wing, and learning about the normal curve.  I applied the information strictly to the classroom scenario.  It was a freeing moment my first year of teaching when my grades fell into “the curve.”  I had a low percentage of Failing grades and a low percentage of Above Average grades.  The majority of the students fell into the middle.  I felt no guilt in giving Graham an F.  Poor kid just fell at the wrong end of the curve, even after I curved the grades. The normal curve is real, people; it’s not just some mathematical picture of an ideal that doesn’t exist.  Don’t get me started on the implications of the normal curve.

  I left the normal curve in my education files until this year. Now I want to extrapolate it to apply it to the course of life itself.  As I have watched the girls grow and develop, I see their life now as a reflection of what their life will be like after I’m gone.  You know, after I’m dead and gone and crossed over to the other side into the arms of Jesus.

  My theory of “Life is a normal curve” has not been diminished by the media.  Recently, Rob and I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  The move is based on a story by Fitzgerald. Read the review here.  Basically Benjamin Button is born disfigured like an old man, and dies looking like a baby.  The story touches on the theme of mortality and how to live life.  Watching the movie evoked more thoughts on “life is a normal curve.”

  The infancy and preschool years do confound me.  I remember in Rhinelander sitting in my low blue upholstered rocker next to my piano holding my  tiny babies, and wondering What is God’s plan for this child? What is her purpose in this world? What will she be like when she is old? How ever in the world am I going to guide her? “For such a time as this, God brought you here.”  As I continued wondering, I wondered most about my daughters as elderly women.  I am assuming that the Lord will allow me to live out my days to an elderly woman, and that I will get to see my grandchildren. I assume that I will precede my children in death.  So I wonder about the part of their life here on earth that I will not be a part of. If life is like a normal curve, then the behaviors they exhibit now may also be exhibited again when they are old.

  One child has continual bathroom problems and I see her as an elderly bed-ridden person in diapers in the nursing home.  Today she said, “I need to walk slowly so I don’t hurt myself again.”  I had a flash-forward.  I suddenly saw her gimping along with cane or walker in hand, shuffling along the corridor in her pink Isotoner bow slippers muttering ‘Easy does it.’   My other child has a propensity for accidents, bumps, and falls.  She will probably be the one wearing the life alert pendant, saying,  “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” I want to write a letter to their children, explaining what I have dealt with for the last 4 years, so that when my grandchildren have to put their mother in an assisted living or nursing facility, they will know what to expect.  They can say, “Granny warned us it would be so.”

  On the opposite end of the spectrum, I have been a distant observer of the aging matriarchs of both sides of the family.  I have listened to my mother and my mother-in-law recount the conversations with their mothers.   I have spoken with my grandmother about the difficulty of growing older.  It’s not like you necessarily all of a sudden wake up needing help.  This “old age” is  a gradual thing that sneaks up on you, and after you’ve fought to receive your place in this world and maintain your independence for so long, it’s difficult to see it slipping away, whether gradually like sand through your fingers or suddenly like a fish flopping back into the lake just before you throw it into the live well for keeps.  I see the respectable hard-working matriarchs of the family no longer able to care for themselves like they could when I was in high school and it grieves me.  I see that their need for supervision is equivalent to the supervision I provide for my girls each day.  I hear reports that they are not motivated to eat — similar to the little people I try to coax along at the table.  The round-robin catch-22 style conversations reported to me remind me of the exasperating, unlimited “Why?” questions I attempt to answer all day long here. All the while, the sands of independence and responsibility are slipping out of the matriarchs’ hands. They are slowly realizing that their days are numbered, and they’re trying to figure out how live out their “second childhood.” The ones at the middle of the curve are trying our best to navigate the end of the bell curve with dignity and respect.  And I don’t want to watch.  I don’t want to watch that last grain of sand get dusted off the palm of her hand and see the enthusiasm for life diminish in her eyes.

• I’m in the mood to write… are you in the mood to read?

  Date: 2009.12.11 | Category: personal | Response: 0

  I’m sitting here tonight with about a million — no a hundred — no, realistically maybe a dozen posts running thru my head.  I want to post about Thanksgiving, Halloween, the process of aging,  the process of growing, my grandmother, ballet, money, Christmas, and my house.  I can’t decide if I should just make one jigh-norm-ous post, or post as much as I can in separate little posts and have a sudden influx of posts which only the top one will get read.  Or do I draft them all out, and then slowly, one by one, post them?  and who, besides the robots and the worms and the dedicated few indicated on my networked blog window,  is reading anyways?

  I think  I just decided to make separate posts. . ..

• A Jonah Day

  Date: 2009.11.13 | Category: Bible Study, House, Preschool, Twins, personal | Response: 0

  Today was one of those days — one of those incredibly long and hard days that makes you want to quit. I had one of those days today. My college friend Vanessa calls it a “Jonah day.” You know, the kind of day that is reminiscent of being vomited on a beach by a whale.

  My bad day full of multiple frustrations started with poor planning yesterday. It’s true. Bad days don’t just happen all at once. Usually a Classic Bad Day is a product of compiling all the ingredients in the recipe we call Failure. I had a video shoot yesterday morning. So I get up, get the kids fed, dressed, socked, shoed, brushed, combed, and buckled. I get the Awana bags in the car, the Operation Christmas Child boxes in the car, the video equipment in the car. But I can’t find the video BAG nor my cell phone which is turned off. So I leave anyway, so that I can show up 10-15 minutes early so I can set up for the video shoot.

  On the way there, I realize I need to call my hubby and ask a technical question but don’t have a phone. (Later I realized my phone was in fact in my purse.) So I get to MOPS, get the camera set up. Do some preliminary shooting. Block the guest speaker from cutting through my video. (yep, that was real smooth). Then I’m interviewing people on video. I have my 3rd person on camera, and Poof the LOW BATTERY signal flashes up, giving me the “dreaded blue screen.” Great. So, now I have a broken camera, a missing bag, a missing cell phone (I still thought), and a couple of Operation Shoe Boxes dumped out into my trunk. I regroup enough to find the media guy, borrow (and eventually temporarily steal) a camera, and finish my mission of shooting testimonies.

  So, I continue with my failure to plan throughout the day. I take on one more thing on my plate and start planning that thing, all the while failing to plan dinner. I was no chef last night; I was merely a warmer. We ate frozen pizza and boxed gnocchi with jarred sauce. My family was lucky I didn’t use paper plates.

  Our boarder who really communicates with us very well (TYVM) announced his plans for the weekend after dinner last night. He would be leaving at 10am Fri. It wasn’t until this morning that I realized he had taken off the entire day of work. So I made breakfast for the 4 of us. The break in the routine started our Classic Bad Day. Normally, he is not present in the mornings — he has already left for work by the time we all get up. So… trying to get out the door before 9am to return the temporarily stolen camera to the church was quite the challenge. Either I’m a poor planner, a poor communicator, a poor leader, a poor parent, or I’m just plain too hard on myself — but trying to get the usual “kids fed, dressed, socked, shoed, brushed, combed, and buckled” seemed to take longer this morning.

  So I left frustrated. I came back and tried to get the children going on a computer game but they didn’t want to use the computer nor the game that I wanted, so I thought, well it’s not a big deal just go with it. BAD IDEA. The number of interruptions to my exercise routine seemed like a million and three. (Of course it was only 3). Trying to get math and reading done after exercising was also a bad idea. Alexis wouldn’t sound out the word “has”; Rachel kept interrupting me with her computer questions; Alexis would just get started pronouncing something and Rachel would blare out, “MOM!!”

  So (if you’re still reading), you wanna know what I did? I threw in the towel. I quit. I quit school for today. It just wasn’t worth the additional frustration.

  We ate leftovers for lunch. I read 3 books to the children. I started sewing. Later I came down to give a snack and noticed the family room had tiny styrofoam balls scattered about — the kind of balls that used to be “berries” on my harvest wreath.

  Fortunately, Today I had dinner planned. and that was the best thing that happened to me all day.

  So, if you’re new to homeschooling, as I am, you will encounter those frustrating days, and you just have to say, “FINE. It’s ok to take a mental health day today.” “Real” teachers get them. And we all know that we will accomplish our goals by the end of the year.  But a good day of homeschooling starts with planning.  And a good day’s worth of plans can easily turn into a week or a month or a year’s worth of plans.   If you have no clue about planning, please check out the “Plan-It” Series from my college friend Dawn.  It’ll be worth your time. Totally.

  Afterall, you really don’t want a Jonah day… Do you?