To tell or Not to tell?

Date: 2010.08.24 | Category: MFM | Response: 0

A friend of mine was asking me how to tell someone who is struggling through infertility that she is pregnant. Again. With baby #5.   I’m not sure if there is a “good way” to tell.  If you’ve ever craved having a child, hearing of someone else’s accidental success can be revolting.  It can make you want to run away, to cry, to curse. The news can make you fearful.  The flip side is this: It’s not like she was trying to get pregnant. And certainly she didn’t do it out of spite toward her friend who is undergoing fertility treatment.

Our vantage point in this situation needs to get back in focus with God. God is the author of life. God is the one who blesses us with children. God is the one who gives and takes away. God rules from heaven enthroned on high and in the fullness of time God brings forth children according to His purpose.

My first advice to my friend was to hold off telling for as long as possible, to protect everyone’s emotions.  But then today I thought, “That’s not cool, that’s deceptive.  Why would good friends not tell each other the most wonderful joyful surprising news in the world?”  The friendship should be able to withstand this test. So I’ve some up with some serious and some comical possible responses. Hopefully the joy in the pain will be like sun in rain.

Dear Friend,

I have some wonderfully awful news to share with you.  I want to share it because we are friends, and I value ______ in you.  (insert affirmation of her character – kindness, support, generosity, humor, joy, gentleness).  When I tell you my news, I hope you’ll stay true to your ____ self, although, you’ll probably want to puke. I know I do. Because… I’m pregnant.

*****

Hey, friend, guess what?  I think maybe God answered your prayer, but He got the wrong address.  I’m pregnant.  Will you still be my friend?

*****

Hey friend you want to go to lunch?  (I hope I won’t have to cancel. I think I’ve got morning sickness again. )

****

Scripture says “A man’s gift makes room for him.”  (Proverbs 18:16) Instead of announcing the pregnancy and having the convo revolve around yourself, you could give your friend a “gift of faith and hope” that someday God will bless her with children.  My favorites are from the Willow Tree collection at Hallmark stores. http://willowtree.info/products/figurines

I know before the girls were born, I sat sulking in the corner for a while because “she” was preggo again, and I wasn’t.  I battled anger, jealousy, isolation.  I hid behind the piano and gritted my teeth while playing for worship during sanctity of life Sunday.  I somehow mechanically “led” worship from the piano after finding out about my first failed pregnancy, while my joyful productive friend played the guitar.

Every child is a gift from God.  Some people breathe the same air as their man, and pop–  she’s preggo.  Others of us seem to never conceive.  It gets difficult when you want a child and it seems that God is withholding that blessing.  When it seems that the natural route is failing, we want to intervene.  My hope and prayer for each woman reading this post would be that you would echo Psalm 16.  The Lord works everything to will and to act according to the purpose of his good pleasure for those who are called to follow Him. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

yummy cajun dinner

Date: 2010.08.03 | Category: Recipe | Response: 0

http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/grilled-shrimp-gumbo-889046/

Meringues

Date: 2010.08.02 | Category: Recipe, Twins | Response: 0

Baking with the girls is always fun. Especially when my daughter Alexis is the one who flipped through the cookbook and requested that we make this recipe.

Baking meringues is time consuming yet rewarding.  There were times that I “sucked all the oxygen out of the room.”  But we still had fun.  Enjoy the clip.

My Subscribers

Date: 2010.08.01 | Category: Gerneral | Response: 0

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Chocolate Almond Zucchini Bread

Date: 2010.07.29 | Category: Recipe | Response: 0

This recipe is taken from page 41, of the “Best of the Best from Wisconsin Cookbook”.  If you’re looking for an excellent series of cookbooks as you move around the country, the “Best of the Best” series is the way to go.

3 eggs

2 c sugar

1 c oil

2 oz melted chocolate

1 tsp vanilla

2 c zucchini, shredded

3 c flour

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 c toasted almonds

Ingredient notes: I use almond extract, and whole wheat flour. When I don’t have almonds on hand, I use pecans and place on top)

Beat eggs until lemon colored. Add sugar and oil. Mix. Add chocolate, extract, and zucchini.  Mix. Add dry ingredients; mix. Mix in almonds.  Bake 350* in 2 greased or Pam-sprayed loaf pans for 50 min.

Note: I have also baked in a bundt pan. When using loaf pans, I sprinkle nuts on top with a few chocolate chips.

Blueberry Pound Cake

Date: 2010.07.29 | Category: Recipe | Response: 0

1 c butter, softened

2 c sugar

4 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

2 c flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

2 c fresh or frozen blueberries, tossed in additional 1 c flour.

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time an beat until light and fluffy.  Add vanilla.  Sift 2 c flour, salt, and baking powder together. Add sifted ingredients to creamed mixture and beat.  Fold blueberry/flour mixture into batter.  Pour into tube or bundt pan which has been buttered and coated with sugar.

Bake 325* for 1 hr and 15 min.

Notes:

This recipe is from my friend Sonia.  She and I used to pray together every Sunday night.  Thanks to her for copying this recipe for me as part of my wedding gift.

I used cinnamon sugar, my friend Wendy plans on using purple sugar.

Traditions

Date: 2010.07.09 | Category: Holidays, MFM, Twins, personal | Response: 0

It’s Friday. It’s July. And I haven’t posted a Marriage & Family Monday post on a Monday in I don’t know when. In my Draft folder, I have 5 drafts. Five! I don’t know when I’m going to get around to completing them and posting. So I’m taking the rest of this post to talk about traditions.

One of our family mantras is “have an adventure, make a memory.” Part of what makes life so memorable is visiting the same places over and over, doing the same things, eating the same foods, and creating happy times in that place.

This past weekend was the Fourth of July weekend.  “My gentle readers,” please take a minute to comment on this post and share with all of us what traditions you have for the Fourth of July.  Do it for people who are looking to build a family legacy of happy memories.  My first post on the Fourth summarizes a conglomeration of traditions and experiences from the last 13 years of marriage.  Building your own traditions for your family when you and your spouse come from different areas of the country can take time.

This year, we took a last minute trip to Memphis for the Fourth of July.  Hallelujah!  It was “the way it was supposed to be.”  Hot. Sweating in 95 degree sun at Mud Island. Frozen drinks that thaw in minutes (instead of hours). Weird running bugs and enormous swallowtail butterflies.  Grilling with a new Rub (The internal temp of the grill before it was turned on was 125+).  Corn. Running through the sprinkler and chasing each other with the hose.  Homemade Chocolate Ice Cream (better than ever).  Germantown Fireworks (Running commentary by Rachel).  101.3 degrees.  Crunchy Grass.  Sparklers. Now that’s a real Fourth.  No campfires. No blankets for warmth.

When my girls look back on the Fourth of July, I want them to remember sparklers, home made ice cream, and fireworks with the family.  I want them to think about our nation’s history — why July 4 is different from June 4.  I want them to have traditions and rituals that can be expected during birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, and Back to School.   Building the same foods and activities into a special day makes a tradition, builds a memory, and creates exciting anticipation for next year.

Great Husbands, Great Ideas

Date: 2010.05.26 | Category: MFM, Recipe, Twins, garden, personal | Response: 1

Great Husbands. Great Ideas.

No, I’m not being sarcastic.  At least not now.

Several months ago, we started planning the 5th birthday party for the twins.  Rob had the idea of doing a “Garden” Themed birthday party.  I had heard of another neighbor doing this party, and thought it would be an ok idea.  But as Rob elaborated on his plans, I began to stiffen, balk, and inwardly rebel.  I did not want to follow his plan. I was thinking, “oh, great…”

You see, I was afraid.  I was afraid of how it would turn out, of what the children would think, of how we’d manage the grandiose idea, and of what the neighbors would think.  However, I’ve walked with the Lord long enough to know that when a wife submits to her husband both are blessed.

My idea of a party was to provide continuous entertainment with all the guests bringing toys or other presents.  Rob’s idea seemed completely revolutionary. We talked through both our ideas, and came up with a plan.

The day of the party, 12 children poured into our backyard. The decorations were a few balloons and a banner leftover from another party.  We started off with face painting.

Each child decorated a pot and planted their own snapdragon flower to take home and “baby.”  We had bought most of the pots on clearance at the end of last season and saved some containers from others. The leftover plants were planted in our front flower bed after the party.

The girls and I made a poster board sized flower for “pin the butterfly on the flower” game.  

The girls and I transformed a yellow bundt cake into a caterpillar.  It was very simple and fun to do.

I  served bug shaped macaroni and cheese and pink lemonade.  At the end everyone took a turn squishing their feet in the mud. We’d planned on planting the seeds, but it had rained. Squishing in mud was much more fun.

We had other games planned but we ran out of time. Once again Rob and I collaborated and I listened and  every child was totally thrilled.  It was probably the best party we’ve ever done.

We plan on sharing the produce of the garden with those who came to our party come harvest time! Thanks, Nina, for being the party photographer!

Progress

Date: 2010.05.21 | Category: personal | Response: 0

I just checked in on myself. I was wondering how I was doing with my New Year’s resolutions which I wrote in a post Dec 30. 2009.

So far, I can see that about 50% of the goals have been met. Another 25% have been re-prioritized. Some will never happen. Some will just be put on hold for later, like next year. Some have fallen under “corporate restructuring” and thus have been eliminated.

An example of restructuring:  I wanted a new kitchen floor and new living room furniture.  Yet I wanted to pay off a loan as well.  We chose to pay off the loan with this year’s tax refund and postpone the home improvement expenses till next year’s refund.

I know I haven’t posted much since Spring began to show itself. I have 3 April posts which ended up as “drafts”. Perhaps my goal for June is to revise and post these drafts.

Rachael Ray’s “Grilled Steak Sandwich…I Mean, Salad — No! Sandwich!”

Date: 2010.04.25 | Category: Recipe | Response: 0

taken from the cookbook 365: NO Repeats, page 261.  I looked for this recipe on line and did not find it.

8 oz day old chewy farm-style bread, cubed

5 Tbsp balsamic vinegar (eyeball it)

1/4 c. + 2 Tbsp EVOO (olive oil)

2Tbsp chopped fresh rosemary leaves, from 2 sprigs

Coarse black pepper

1.5-2 lb skirt steaks

4 small vine ripe tomatoes, chopped

1 small red onion, chopped

8 oz fresh or smoked monzarella, cubed

1 cup loosely packed fresh basil leaves, torn or shredded

Coarse Salt

Directions:

Preheat a grill pan or outdoor grill to high.

*Place bread in medium mixing bowl and cover with water. Soak the bread for 3-5 minutes.

In a shallow dish, combine about 3 tbsp of the balsalmic vinegar with about 2 tbsp of the EVOO, the rosemary and a liberal amount of black pepper.  Add the steaks to the dish and coat thoroughly, then marinate for 5-10 minutes.

After the bread has soaked, working in small batches, remove it in handfuls from the water and wring it out without mashing or tearing it. You do not want wet bread, so wring it out carefully and place in salad bowl.   Add tomatoes, onions, monzarella, and basil.  Toss a few times, then dress with remaining 2 TBSp balsamic vinegar, 1/4c EVOO (3-4 times around the bowl) and salt & pepper.  Adjust the seasonings and let the salad sit for the flavors to come together.

Season with steak with salt and grill the meat for 3-4 minutes on each side. Remove and let it rest for 5 minutes to allow the juices to redistribute.

Slice the meat very thin on a sharp angle against the grain. Divide the bread salad among 4 serving plates and top with a few slices of the Balsamic Steak.

Makes 4 Generous Servings

*Those of you who like to do recipes exactly as printed in the book will say I didn’t make this recipe at all when you see what I did to it. I decided to make this recipe at the last minute so I had to make modifications / Substitutions.  I did not wet and dry the bread. I used 8 slices of Brownberry brand Country White bread from my freezer, cubed.  I didn’t have red onion — I used the green and yellow that I had on hand.  I didn’t have fresh basil — I used alot of dried basil (3 times around the bowl) and 1 cup shredded iceberg. I used shredded monzarella. I already had in my deep freezer some Round steak thinly bias cut against the grain.  I defrosted and marinated this meat.

We all absolutely loved this recipe, even in its modified form. I look forward to making this recipe according to directions.